Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Rotten Tomatoes

I'm pissed. No let me rephrase that I'm beyond pissed. Dirty rotten thieves! I guess I should explain.
In March I went out bought, tomato and herb seedlings, pots, dirt, and other gardening supplies. I placed them on my deck of my apartment building to grow and ripen, producing lovely fruit for me to eat.
My plants have been slow, (I blame the fact they are in pots) and are producing barely any fruit. It takes them a long time to turn from green to red, usually about 2 weeks. I've been patiently waiting for this wonderful organic, homegrown tomato for
the PERFECT tomato-basil sandwich.
Well, the first tomato I picked was nice a juicy. The next attacked by the birds. Of course, these were by cherry tomatoes, so I wasn't too upset. Then last week, my very first celebrity tomato started to turn. I was excited. A really good sandwich awaited me. Saturday morning I checked on the tomato, waiting until the afternoon to pick it. I went out to pick peaches, came back and to my amaze it was gone.
I breathed. Blamed myself for leaving my tomato plants out by the courtyard and moved them to my patio. Looked at the two turning, and told myself they needed one more day. So I left them alone.
I checked them before my run in Sunday morning and they were fine. I ran, ate breakfast, showered, yoga, cooked, and checked on my tomatoes. Only to find!!!
Now I was pissed. Really beyond it! Within 5 hours the tomatoes were gone. I could have cried. Who in there right mind steals 2 tomatoes that aren't really producing? Were they thinking I wasn't going to notice?
Oh I noticed! And this girl is prepared with an iron skillet to take names! Of course I could be arrested for it, but they are STEALING my tomatoes!
Monday I had 4 unripened tomatoes. No way are they going to steal them.
Wrong again!
After work 2 unripened ones were gone and an empty water bottle that I used to water them. The thesaurus doesn't even have words to describe the outrage I have.
So what do I do? Right now I don't know. I could move them to a friends, but they need daily attention. Some have suggested a webcam, but that may cost me money. Maybe an electric fence? Highly doubtful. Maybe I just have to live with the scum, stealing my tomatoes. But I will catch him and when I do, there is HELL to pay!
Two actual tomatoes are left with blooms and little tomatoes growing. Of course now I have to worry about them destroying my herbs and breaking into my apartment. Now I need a bodyguard for me and my plants.


Quellia said...

I don't have a cast iron pan you could borrow, but do have a really big, heavy non-stick one that works just as well - and I'd be happy to let you use it to twack your tomato thief!

Kristen said...

I would be so angry too! Too bad you couldn't catch the dirty devil.

Andrew said...

All you got to do is give me the word and I will show up with guns blazing... I think I will go with the 12 gauge shotgun. Its the most intimidating. I am likely going to have to wear my Elmer Fudd hat and say some thing along the lines of SHHHH... I'm hunting tomato thieves... Worst case scenario you will get a laugh out of it. Best case scenario we pump that rotten seed full of lead.

Deborah said...

I'll take turns with Andrew watching your tomatoes - but I don't have a gun. I do have a dog that barks really loudly, but then again, he ate my squash plant AND my bell pepper plant, so I'm guessing that's not a good idea.....

sandi @ the whistlestop cafe said...

I googled 'tomato stealing neighbors' and landed on your blog.
I am trying to grow my tomatoes up-side-down~ so I share your frustration with the constant watering. But to have those big boys plucked in their prime...criminal!

Elle said...

Ohh that is criminal! Maybe you could move the plants inside for a few days and leave a sign outside saying something rude to thieves. A couple of days inside shouldn't hurt them any and might cause the thief to lose interest. Anyone have an attack cat they can lend?